Starry starry night.

So meteors are pretty not because of their physical appearance but the anticipation while waiting. And meteor shower doesn't rain all at once like one of those in our bathroom but shoots singly instead, one at a time, at a higher frequency than meteor without the shower. :D And climax is reached when a white bird flies past which adds magical into the starry sky. I GET TO SEE AROUND 20 METEORS in 2.5 hours, how about you? (: Lying on the hockey field of my university, I don't think I can ever forget.

今夜追星去。

追的是流星。霎时的美，真的那么美吗？期待。

Be a man.

It's weird that u couldn't cry at times when pressure hits you the hardest but only do so uncontrollably after you're being freed. You're doing great. You'll be one resistant bug.

Make a wish.

I was listening to Beautiful As You, a duet between two guys which sounded romantic at first but on second thought, gay-ish. Ahem* It's still being repetitively played for an hour already by my music player. :D It mentioned shooting star, meeting someone who is prettier than shooting stars, and rainbows. Both rare precious of Mother Nature. And, yikes! I diverted from my point. Haha. Can u feel my excitement? I'm so going to pull my roommate off her arms and direct her to the front of my laptop and have her wide-eyed at the notice I've just discovered! (Just joking, my roommate is diligently out attending class in one of the lecture halls wink*) This meteor called Geminids is predicted to be showering Earth this Thursday night, 13 December 2012! And Shin Ai only made me believe in shooting stars last Saturday. Coincidence, fate, God's gift? Hoki field this Thursday at 11.45pm, anyone? I can see many hands being raised and there, spotted mine! Jom! It's time to make a wish. Or perhaps wishes since it's a shower of meteors!! Ps: excuse me of the multiple exclamation marks being used, I'm just too excited at this moment. XD

Is white actually black?

What if it is never the circumstances of life but the true nature of oneself that made who one is today?

Fists, Hands, Up High, 'V'. Wee!

Those who cannot wake despite the hustle at stadium right now is truly a dead log. It's International Hoki Fest! But why must it be Oppa Gangnam Style as the grand opening. Why. Can't it be a thousand years? Hahaha. I shall give all in me for this evening's VIVA. And then a night long sleep. And good food. And supper. And movie. And book fair. And o' donut. And christmas trees. And family reunion. And good companions. Wow, with just a weekend, am I greedy or what? They always say, dream BIG, never small though. (;

太阳花舨的朝气。

切记，跌倒了，会痊愈，没有到不了的明天。

Hocus Pocus Focus!

Text: (frantically attempts to introduce myself with the shortest and most appropriate words but end up with a 3 messages long text LOL)
Reply: I know you. See you tomorrow at 10am.

Felt so appreciated that my Pakistanist lecturer remembers me after 0.8 years since he last taught me. XD Or is it because I'm the bad student whom he remembers. Won't be I never play truant! In denial* Hahaha. We shall see. I have elvis presley's banks after waking from a nap. LOL.

It's yummy December!

I had a pair of reindeer's antler on my head. Hairs up. Wore a white tee with a splash of greens and reds. Neck wrapped by an almond coloured scarf. Had a warm dinner with people chatting gleefully all around. And was served with glutinous rice balls as dessert. I can see snow, hear jingles and smell mushrooms. Oooh!! XD

I'm his daughter.

Whenever my dad texts me, I feel like my secondary headmaster is watching me. Haha. Ps: I only get my first mobile phone at 17. Now? I feel like my dean is observing me. Hahaha. My dad does have the educator's look, he wears formal to work too and never without a tie. And he is much taller than my present dean. Shh. I never realise my dad to be really tall as since small I used to think that ALL dads ARE huge in the eye of his child. Until my friends tell me in amusement that I have a really tall dad. Hey, why not? My dad is sporty! He played basketball, volleyball, ping pong and badminton back when he's having thick hair. How come ping pong doesn't make him short in return with all the slouching? :P He still grabs the racket and never abandon his jogging shoes until today. I know my dad loves me without him saying. Only strong love has such impact. I shall work hard on today's practical test! My dad is watching me again. Hahaha.  

Sway to the rhythm of blues.

Yesterday night's recap.
My roommate is on stage! God always arranges me pretty and talented roommates. She would sound nice too if given the chance to sing solo. Miss Mexico 1 is good. Bob is sporty enough to make us all laugh. All including those in the band whose fingers stopped despite professional restricts. Hahaha. I wonder how Alvin sings with his coarse voice without running out of tune. I felt like he's having a phlegm rolling deep. :P Siti improved drastically after three years. And, and Mary looked pretty tonight! If only I get to see Ashley Chin and Her Yong tonight too. They have beautiful names. And Dr Nina, your daughter has enchanting eyes. Swaying now, still.

Hahaha.

The rain this morning was huge, cats and dogs' huge. And I woke to the laughter of a few Malay girls from the between-blocks-pavement below. It was true that they are sitting under the rain and got themselves soaked wet again. I wish I had friends that I could drag to do so too. Haha. So wild. After all, how many would be able to make you laugh your heart out. Morning, Mr Saturday! (:

Sunny day storm at night. Look ahead.

I never get used in living life but expecting the worst. Perhaps it's time to get an insurance.

花又开好了！

This song reaches my meat, 很到肉。We ought to fall in live, thought of the dreadest to give up all, and to realise it's been ALL THIS WHILE that THERE ARE this precious few around us who have been guarding us through the best of us and still will, through the worst of us. Courage from ourselves and support from others. We are being huMANly made to suit such rollercoaster-like life. I'm a man! Haha. Fall all u might, but don't u dare give up!

Give like a pharmacist.

Excitement strikes upon stepping on the grounds of penang GH, knowing that I'm not a patient but a future pharmacist who will be working in a place like here. Ooh! Mingle mingle mingle, there are different kinds of patients at every single corner. The aunty in the canteen even spared her lunch table for us. And there are pretty pharmacists all well dressed. Who says you cant wear skirt and dresses while working professionally. Outpatient is flooded with patients and busy pharmacists are everywhere. We even sneaked up to satellite department on the other side of the block during lunch break, hectic but promising. Hope and support is what we give, what I want to give!

追求幸福，不是比别人幸福。

Have you read this testimony by the late Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang? Here:http://www.heavenaddress.com/Dr-Richard-Teo-Keng-Siang/424153/379719/content
He spoke the false truth I'm holding onto, true joy=successful=wealth in monetary value. Truth is, true joy comes from the interaction and love with people around, not on the expense of others. Hope, is why we live on everyday. To my innerself, love more, yearn less.

Beautiful, memory.

After a year and a half, finally I get to visit this humble town which they once called Anson. I get to play parenting at the same time. Nice people, nice food, a lot of elderly and cosy house. And it's my final year that mum and dad agreed to let us drive around Penang. It took us half a leehom cd, two remixes cd, one jaychou and one christmas collection donated by ma to get us reach from kl to penang. More foods, more places, more visits. I promise I'll be a safe driver and make sure peanut drives safely too. Wink*.  

Nus.

Why u no accept my tongsui after I accept ur coklat? Do you know that chocolate is a mix of choco and latte? Know it now (:

Wednesday.

'Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do something but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted even you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.' Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.

Blueberry always goes with cheese.

I'm a nomnomcarnivorous that loves blueberry too. A proper breakfast before a hungry Tuesday with quiz. All the very best! Recover soon fair one.

Lup dup.

For the first time in four years, I wish I can wear my labcoat more often. Custom made with my name sewn. And it's small instead of large this time. It reminds me to be a good pharmacist and not just another staff in hospital. I'm too old to play music instrument. But always young enough to clap hard, shout out loud and enjoy every beat. Next up, Chinese Orchestra.

Panting fun.

He has beautiful eyes, likes to hang on chairs, doesnt seem to put on shirt on a cold night like today, the first minute he enthusiastically shows his muscle, the next he is chasing you around like an Olympic runner with mini pauses in between, attempts to scratch you, aims hard on ur feet and step you all his might with his black rubber shoes. He is just 5 years old. The boy from my hostel cafe whom I met tonight. I would have to quit aman cafe at night. 1 and a half and more to go. (:

Cold but cosy.

Back from kwang seng yang fu, it's a tailor shop transformed into a cosy dining place. The food only is western but everything else is filled with Chinese tradition. I thought we can dine out tomorrow but there's sudden night class. There's always Tuesday and more tomorrows. I had two Hershey's on my table! I ate hard, loved hard, now study is hard. Study hard! ;)

Without warning.

The heavy pour was as quick as lightning. I flew out from my room and as soon as I reached the stairs and peeped out into my lines of clothes I decided not to salvage. Grrrr. Another time. I finally ate the mooncake and whitish childhood flaky biscuit that went with it. It didn't taste like crockroach as I presumed. I somehow liked it this time, the white piece. No postprandial glucose test for me. I am eating 5 bowls of rice as my breakfast. Rumors about mooncake and rice equality. At this point I hope it remains a myth. From me to my roommate, thank you lovely. (:

Wonderfood.

I just had the best roasted pork rice and charcoal choco bread. My headaches can even subside with food. I don't think I can ever stop eating.

Truth is, true.

As long as it is the truth, an ugly one or a beautiful one no longer matters. Be true to myself and to everyone around. The chirping sounds of the newly hatched birds within the nest on the palm tree outside my hostel reminds me that life is beautiful. One step at a time. (:

=(

Easy is the girl from sarawak that treated me best among my coursemates. 3 years of friendship. Just like a baby, you can feel whether it is growing or dying. Whenever there is 小朋友，there will be 大朋友。Why.

Mid autumn has the prettiest moon.

I hope by next year, my nieces are grown up enough to play lanterns. Traditional ones made of twisted wires and colourful glass papers are the prettiest. And I shall light the candles and try hard to not point at the moon. (:

念

享受与志同道合的知己观赏表演的乐趣，边看边评，只有知己能忍受我的讥咋。想念。原来，我已懒惰再次掏心交新朋友，只想静静地和懂我的人一起分享。好朋友，不再想要多，只想更珍惜从前现在都在的就已足够。

断断续续

一下子停雨，一下子过云雨，一下子毛毛雨，一下子倾盆大雨，一直都在下雨。
I guess the rain has emotional fluctuations too. Some people enjoy its cosyness, some people hate its dampness, some people turned lazy. For rainy day like this, grab a jacket, an umbrella and go.

September first.

Do you believe in horoscope? I think I have that virgo within me.

When number doesn't count.

As years pass by, you realise it is no longer important to have more friends but to have real ones.

Of Three, One is graduated.

Now I know how to choose a yummy serve of Black Ball. We had ice cream, your favourite. I had a new pants, in blue! I miss you. He's a nice guy. Nini, u'll surely look cute in in our signature purple robe. Hope uncle is fine. Hope u regain ur baby face. Owlowl Nini Lixin, Happy Graduation.

Owl nini.

Owl fley back with a puppy on her shirt. As siao as always. Like an air stewardess haha! Hope everything is smooth tomorrow. Wee.

Why not smile? (:

Blessed Monday. Although I went penniless, although my sis has no roommate yesterday, although I'm worried about my new group 6. Beautiful things happen when u least yearn about them. Peanut looks cute when in sports attire. She's the one with asthma, yet she's the one who runs with a camera without an inhaler. Let's run the penang bridge together. I miss your manja face!

Love is in the air.

Guess whose birthday it is today? That girl who always send love letters despite expensive text charges from digi and maxis. My final roommate has chengnini feel. Haha. And she loves craft as much as u do! I have a feeling we'll be good friends if only time allows. Mr sembilan puluh satu ringgit, I'm craving for nasi beratur. The later the better. Peace and cheese. Wink*

Today is the day.

The ultimate day to know both our clerkship, case study groupings and when we'll leave Penang Isle for Kelantan. For nail biting moments like this, luckily I had my nails cut. Love, back then, now and all the way tomorrow.

Thinking of you.

Amidst working, tianshizhu called. If only ure still wf me, we can sing in the bathroom together. This year end, by motor by car by boat by helicopter I wanna meet u! I wish it was a helicopter too. But who cares. Hey yeah! Miss ceciliating. I hope xiaoli is still pink. Dirty master. :D

Seeing through others.

The privilege of seeing your nieces grow is to be able to learn the instincts of babies and imagine how you too grew up back then. I hope I was a far easier one to raise. :D

Spin.

Too much going ons in my head last night. Graduating in a year's time means time to fend for future. Question is, where? And with who. Time is the most valuable pocession we own and spare, spend it worthwhile. Time is what I need. And, Happy Birthday owl! (:

Fire flavour.

I was asked to essay on the marvel use of chillies. In my dreams. This is how much I love spices. The more vibrant coloured and mini ones are best in putting ur spice buds on fire. But purple ones have that fragrance to satisfy those who enjoy only their aroma. Yes, purple ones. (:

Boost things up! Seven up!

How does it feel to have a two months semester break? Like using a one meter string to tie a dumpling. Wouldn't it be better if these leg shaking days are shorten and graduation day is brought forward instead? At an age like this, I wanted something more than just looking after nieces at home. In fact, I look forward to night where I at least get to go chat with kienyunggor at shop. I feel that I'm alive only then who turn a dead fish again after nine. Expectations, I think I expected a more futile life, hence the disappointments. A foreigner just came in search for an antihistamine yet left empty handed. I should be thankful for being able to afford the medicines I needed everytime illness strikes. I hope Korea splashes me awake! I wonder how many teddies their factory could accomodate? How about their hanbuk? Do they have blue? What's the difference between a Korean ginseng and those from china? Are they all of panax origin? Pharmacognosy! I hope I summoned enough courage to taste that least appealing ginseng sweet! Will their theme park make adults tear? How clean is clean in Korea? I hope I have ample time to send out post cards in their post office. And may korea dresses are cheap at that street we are about to visit amen. Let me google 'hello', 'thank you', 'handsome', 'how much' and 'could u give me a discount' in their language.Woot woot!

Of two, one is closed.

Have not bought a newspaper in many months. Reminds me of me advising u to read electronic ones for free.

妳也加油！

我今天很累，在学校发生状况，竟然在班哭了，花了一个小时想办法解决麦克风小声的问题，学校technician全跑去hotel conference，在办公室没人要帮，直到另一个教授帮忙，办公室的同事才愿意帮忙，却又给错锁匙了，我自己到学校里别的meeting room 拭借麦克风，却都有开会，转了好几封电话到jabatan pembangunan, ptpm,全都推卸责任，办公室同事还叫我自己去ptpm解决。我只好硬着头皮回班，教授却讽刺的说以为我一定是逃课了，叫我当场用麦克风自己试着讲，然后问班上同学能听见吗。的确比平时小声，可是还能用。班上同学体谅我，说能听得见。今天教授的确心情不好，他喉咙痛。我坐在座位上，一直告诉自己，小事情，别放在心上，别哭，别吓倒老师和班上同学，结果还是无法控制，我赶快跑出班，去厕所，途中又遇到junior,好没有脸，长酱大还哭。Easy下来看我，跟我聊天，我又哭了。不过就疏解了压力，继续回班上课，我真的有心要上这老师的课的，借麦克风的一小时，我就开始担心，没上课，真可惜。这位教授今天只是第二次教我们罢了，也是今年的最后一次。应该他心情被生病影响了。想不到，我镇定的形象，被今天毁了！哈哈。朋友致信息给我，告诉我别怕，下星期就卸任了。其实，他们不明白，我已经爱上当班长，虽然的确有不顺利的地方，可是树哪有常青，我奋斗不是为了要计较不开心或要尽快抛弃不开心，而是为了开心时的满足而努力。没当班长，我不知道原来大多数教授在班凶是为了督促，私底下，都是好人，有些像可爱的小孩，有些像顽皮的朋友。我不会放弃，妳也要加油！

Nope, still standing.

While my almighty rational brain tries his very best to suppress my wavery emotional brain, the former failed.
I could be a bit tougher and more professional.
Hang on, hang on, no big deal, I kept convincing myself.
Yet I ended up scaring my friends up, almost half the class.
And Easy has to pick me out from the toilet.
Have not been tearing this bad, uncontrollably.
Why this Pakistanist lecturer whom I only met him for the second time?
I must have scared him too.
It's almost semester end.
A year's end to my responsibilities as a class representative.
But don't get me wrong.
I hold no regret on accepting this position.
The ups and downs made me who I am today.

Cheerio.

And omygosh! My sis is not offered a hostel -.-lll I'll have a pig in my room next semester. Hahaha, a small eyed but chubby one! :D <3

Like no other.

She made me breakfast but none kept for herself every Sunday morning.
She read me Aesop's Fable's A Story A Day every night.
She had the prettiest paper cutting skills in the whole wide world.
She sharpened our woody colour pencil with a blade by the swing every Saturday evening in grandma's garden.
She insisted sending me for art classes when I was 6 years old.
She never wake me on a Sunday morning despite her waking up at 6am to get chicken from the market.
She wrapped all my textbooks and checked my homework every night until I was capable to do so on my own.
She let me switched kindergarten when I'm unable to cope with my initial one.
She bore with my ill tempers of many a times being jealous over the extra attention I thought she gave erjie.
She accompanied pa on every journey pa made to penang just to personally fetch us home.
She worked her whole life to earn us what we now call home.
She's like no other.
Love you always mum.

The sky is falling.

.kaerbadeenyllaeriknihtI

Don't depend on me.

I still remember this creative piece of short story by Shih Li Kow that my creative writing teacher, Mr Sofwan once shared in class.
Dont depend on me. Don't be dependant.
And, they call this, independent.
Mum called. And for many years since I last grown up from that girl who squats at staircase and cries until my mum who is sharpening woody colour pencils with the large pocket knife on swing along with my youngest sis in the garden of my grandmother's house comes after me to give me a hug, I feel like crying and ask for that hug again.
I know neither life works this way nor a grown up should portray such childish behavior.
Give me time, I know I can do better.

Thank you.

Today, we were late to class. This is an unusual class as lecture slides are rated the most captive, projecting both simplicity and modernistic, and not to mention, the teacher herself is unusual, with her glass of water she carries every lecture and sips in between, her precision in time, her craze over all gadgets that have that one-mouth-bitten apple symbol on them, her dislike of being rudely approached without prior appointment through emails, her egoism of liking to chase late comers off lecture halls and her young look that may trick you into believing that she is none other than another pharmacy student. And so, we were late to class.


Being the last among 3 to shut the door, we made eye contact and the rest of the class just stared up on me to anticipate another lecture mishap. My heart shouted a silent SHIT and as I was preparing the worse to apologise and walk back out, she continued, 'you may proceed to the front row if u wish.' No time for second thought, it's like rain poured over desert. Thank god! After all, it's her last lesson, this semester, perhaps my undergraduate years.


I like the way her powerpoint can be so different, so child-ish, not childish I meant, but it's design in such that even a kid can be made understand of the fact that she wish to convey. I'm amazed, yet too rushed to admire by the hassle of jotting down important points for exam's sake.


It was a brief lecture covering 2 topics. Precisely on time, as promised. And then, she projected her custom-made video which is of a glimpse of few seconds on topics which will be covered in quiz and final exam as always. And as always, we all failed to capture. Yet, still a nice video. Haha.


At the very near end but not the end of the class, good luck is what she wished. And at the very end of the class, she blurted, 'I would like to thank you, yes you, for everything.' And the class clapped. I couldn't help not to smile, for I kept reminded myself to stay calm, stay professional, your're in front of her. Obviously, I failed. And as I peeped at her face, I see her clapping and smiling too. Yikes, I was happy. More than happy, I was touched. Thank you too, Dr Aisyah. I am sure, you're one perfectionist too.


Of storms and rains, never stop anticipating that there is still sunshine. Sunshine through the rain. (:

An educator, a dedicated one.

From Suet Li, on 'Teaching in Malaysia'.
It somehow reminds me of you, ceciliating. You'll be one great educator too I'm sure. (:

" today, i went into my weakest and most challenging class to teach them simple adjectives like sizes, colours, and shapes. thirty minutes into the class, even with a lot of activities and drawing and colouring, my kids got me very frustrated for not knowing words like big, small, long, short. So I did something irrational after i realized that it's been almost four months of school and they still haven't learned anything! these 25 kids need serious help. so i put them into groups based on where they live, and came up with 6 groups of 4-5 kids each. I told them that from now on, they'll have extra class with me after school/at night and i'll make sure they attend, even if it means i'll have to get them and send them back.

i immediately regretted doing that. am i out of my mind?? here i am, struggling with everything as it is, and i have no idea if i am mentally or physically capable of pushing so far. they live pretty far away and some live quite deep into the villages, about 30 mins from where i live. but i remember Rakis, my orang asli kid's face and the conversation i had with him yesterday. he used to be a really happy kid, but the past few months he's been very sullen and angry all the time. he said it's cause he can't understand anything, and i can't give my attention to him cos everyone else is crying for help/running around beating people. rakis needs help, and i'm at my wits' end as to how to help him.

so i started with him and a few of my weakest but less misbehaving boys. i got them from their village and it was nice to see them waiting for me by the roadside in the darkness, with their backpacks and jeans and best shirt and eager smile. we had a very productive night reading peter and jane and reviewing stuff learned in school. this pic is of rakis reading with utmost concentration, and he was SUPER focused the entire time i just wanted to hug him and tell him that he's doing great.

when i sent them back, we listened to hitz fm and had a karaoke session in the car (mostly me singing haha). they were bickering about what was the singer singing, "cikgu itu "happy" kan?" "bukanlah "here" lah!" "bukan lah "him" lah!" (the word was "hero" but that's beside the point). then, i met some of their parents. some were nonchalant and didn't care where their kid was, some were very appreciative. but they all had one similarity: they all came from homes that are very not conducive to learning. dilapidated, noisy, dirty..

i drove home drained from the long day but i could still hear their voices in my car. it's defining moments like this that made me realize that they're worth pushing myself for, even if i have to start from scratch, from peter and jane book 1a."

Dearest you.

Our friendship meant a lot to me. Thus, the continuous messages despite the anticipated one word reply or many a times, the absence of reply. Only to realise, u gave up recently. How ironically, it is true that I lacked observational skills, for if I have realised from the first moment, I shall not leave it so, leaving in my own world of happiness, forgetting that like all other kinds of love in this world, friendship needs nurturing.

Our memories, I'll keep and cherish, for those are my happiest moments in uni.

Sorry for all the disappointments that I have overlooked and the absence of companion when u needed most. The pain u bear is trully not healable by just this simple word, thus the action of sealing off gradually but I trully am sorry. Dont get me wrong, no forcing or pleading for anything in return, as if such act haunts u with all the unhappy moments and disappointments again, I rather not do so.

Just want you to know, our friendship still meant a lot to me. After all, no one has ever occupy my big head and heart this heavily. Although you always call me stupid bird, I still think I have a big brain na. Bluek! =')

You have my support always despite earthquakes, world shakes or whatever not. For your studies, your dream, your loves, your life. Whenever you turn back, there's always my big big smile for you! =')

Mixed up.

The reddish estee lauder box I had at home is already full. That's where I keep all handwritten notes by people dear to me. Today, I received yet another note from you, note on a striking pink paper, properly cut into a burger shape, mysteriously wrapped within a blue self made envelope, and sealed with a sticker. Here comes the sudden gush of warm liquid in my eyes again. You discussed with your mummy, discussed with sinyin just to share with me your happiness. You probably wouldn't know, you treated me best among my friends. My guardian angel in USM, who is even younger than me by a year. Everytime I'm sick and tired of life, you're the one who motivates me not to lose faith. My xiaopengyou. =')

'Haha, yea, I'm a Virgo indeed.' That's how I replied when Dr Amin abruptly raised a question as we're arranging for the next class and a night replacement class.

And I'm obviously much darker than the rest of the Chinese in class, even Prof Habibah realised that.

Monday, here goes week 6 of my 6th semester.

As pretty.

They used to say there's always a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, and that there's always rainbow after the rain.
I remember how I like rainbows, not realising it exists in pairs until my Form 3 Science teacher once told me.
I remember how precious rainbows are, short lived yet stunning enough for u to anticipate the next one u'll ever see.
From the car window as dad drove along the highway, from the corridor as all of us secondary girls rushed out to peep.
Rainbows, they're pretty yet hard to catch and keep.
I wonder when's the next rainbow I'll see.
Can clouds and blue sky be as pretty?